The navigation above links to some background information. The below text describes the wedding itself and some of the decisions that we had made in creating it. We decided to blend tradition and well, not traditional, aspects of a wedding. Our wedding colors were red/burgundy (Nikita's favorite color) and orange (Lenore's favorite color). We also used an off white color to balance the two strong colors and make them work for a summer wedding. Short list of links to navigate to a specific section:
Location
Attire
Cake
Photos
Music
Speech by the best man
Speech by the maid of honor
Reading
Vows
Nikita was graduating from UC Berkeley with his phD. At the time of the proposal, we did not know which job he would be taking or where we would be living. We spent 5 weeks traveling in Europe on vacation after his graduation, as we figured this might be one of the last times in our lives that we would have that much time to be able to do something like that. Toward the end of that trip, while in Spain, Nikita confirmed his acceptance of an offer letter to the University of Illinois. We had made the decision that we would choose either California or Toronto for our wedding, since many of our friends lived in each location and this meant that half of the guests — rather than all or most — would need to fly. Our thought was to also choose the location that would be closest to our new home. The final decision was Toronto. Our preference was also for a place that was downtown or close to downtown so that any guests that had to fly into Toronto would not also need to rent a car, plus if anyone were to drink there would be safe public transit options to get home. Finding a vendor that was reasonably priced and could seat 100-200 guests proved to be a challenge, but we ultimately decided upon the York Reception Centre. Since we have friends that are also vegetarian and/or vegan, the reception centre were very good about helping us to have 3 meal options for adults plus also an option for children. We had asked for a list of allergies for the RSVP and took that rather long list to the vendor as well to make sure that there would be a meal that everyone could safely eat.
For the wedding dress, Lenore was very unsure of what she wanted other than she did not want to go to a boutique or make a big to-do over the dress. At the time, we both really enjoyed watching "Firefly" and "Serenity" and Lenore mentioned that she really liked some of the more Indian-style dresses that were on the show. One day, Nikita discovered that the dresses actually worn on the show were being auctioned off on eBay. We both immediately decided that this had to be the wedding dress! After looking at the options, we both really liked the dress worn by Morena Baccarin and designed by Shawna Trpcic in the Objects in Space episode (Morena is in the background) and so we bid on that dress. A few seconds before the bidding was over, we increased our bid above what we thought our max should be, as the bidding war was fierce. By a matter of seconds, we won the dress! It was beautiful and had a lot of beadwork. Since Lenore does not have the exact body of Morena Baccarin, we needed to have the dress slightly altered to fit Lenore but also to wear heels since Morena is taller. For shoes, Lenore decided to go with a simple pair of comfortable Aerosoles heels instead of something more fancy. She also decided against having any makeup or her hair to be done, since she does not normally do this anyway and did not want the wedding photos to reflect a person she never had been.
We also thought that far too often, wedding attire focuses more on the bride rather than the groom. So we decided that Nikita should have more than just a standard tux. We decided that his shirt should match the colors of the bridesmaid dresses, which is also his favorite color - red/burgundy. It would have been much harder for him to match Lenore's dress in color.
Cake tasting was the part of the wedding planning that Nikita enjoyed the most. He had decided that this was the part of the wedding that he was not willing to compromise on; for Lenore it was the photographer. So these two areas became our budget priorities for the wedding planning. Our best man Ian joined us for the tasting by Bonnie Gordon, who was the vendor we ultimately chose. Nikita and Ian sat together and played with her styrofoam blocks to determine the correct angle of the layers. Nikita really wanted to have the cake topper to be little sculpted figures of Cran and Ludwig. When Lenore met Nikita, she soon discovered that Nikita flys everywhere with his stuffed dog Ludwig (a gift from Justyna years ago). So Lenore decided to find her own flight companion and chose Cran. Since then, Cran and Ludwig have flown with Nikita and Lenore all over the world and is widely recognized by our friends. Bonnie took our request seriously and did a great job with sculpting a likeness of them out of sugar for the top of the cake. Not only that, her cake tasted fabulous!
We chose Brian Tao of Luxography as our professional wedding photographer after looking through the portfolios of many photographers in the Toronto area. It turns out that Brian also knew some of our wedding guests! We think he did a fabulous job and would highly recommend him to anyone else planning their wedding.
Thanks to all of our friends who have taken photos and shared them! Links are below:
Andy: Photos
David & Morgan: Photos
F'jord: Photos and Video
Riana: Photos
Matt: Photos
Ann: Photos
Paul: Photos
Beatrice: Photos
Danyel: Photos
Processional was an airy form of Canon in D for when the bridesmaids and groomsmen enter. When it was time for the bride and groom to enter, the music shifted to Fugue #7777 of Katamari Damacy, a Playstation game that Lenore and Nikita enoyed playing. Since some of our friends did as well, this created some laughter and started the wedding on a fun, light note. The recessional was our song - "Infinitely Gentle Blows" by Scott Hardkiss.
We also mixed it up a bit for the bridesmaids and the processional walk. We decided against having all boy/girl couples. It also would not have worked, since we did not have the same number of bridesmaids (5) as groomsmen (4). We decided to honor various types of relationships, not just heterosexual. And so we had couples walk that were boy/girl and also same sex plus one bridesmaid to walk alone to represent those not in relationships.
The music was an mp3 playlist instead of a DJ. The music selection was also some of the same music that Nikita and his roommate Kevin had played at their parties, which many of our guests had attended over the years. Since Lenore is not at all musically inclined, she deferred this to Nikita.
Welcome to Nikita and Kev— I mean Lenore's—wedding!
This past week, I was faced with writing two speeches: a
conference talk about privacy enhancing technologies, and
this one. I wondered if there was any way to combine them,
thus saving some effort, but I figured you wouldn't want to
hear about Diffie-Hellman, whereas the conference folk may
very well enjoy hearing about Nikita's wedding.
Nikita and I were procrastinating by updating our CVs
recently, and we of course noticed the non-trivial overlap
between them. We both went to Waterloo Math for our
undergrad, Berkeley CS for our grad, sharing the same
advisor, and we have publications in common. We've worked
together, played together, and gone on trips together. Now,
of course, Nikita is a professor, and has inspired my own
return to the academy, which will make it all the more
important to make sure all of our conversations don't
devolve into work geekery.
I've known Nikita and Lenore for a long time. In fact, I'm
one of the few people that met them both, before they met
each other. The late '90s in the Bay Area was a magical
time: money was free, and parties were plentiful; Prince
entirely underestimated the meaning of "Party like it's
1999". It was on this backdrop that this couple met.
Between the House of Toast, PAIP, and Nikita's own parties,
Lenore was drawn (kicking *and* screaming) into our little
circle of friends, many of whom, of course, are here today.
Since then, I've gotten to know Lenore and her many
superpowers: her power of illogic; her power of insta-sleep
(and the associated power of squealing); her power of
compassion and caring, as evidenced by her CASA work; and
her amazing power to make my lj friends page scroll faster
than a speeding bullet. I have shared many experiences with
Lenore: happy ones, scary ones, and fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy ones.
I look forward to many more positive experiences with the
Snorisov—I mean Borisov and Borisova—family.
I'd like to close with a short poem; I'm sure Mr. Snitow
will have one of his own to offer a little later on.
Rammsaleh, pammsa-Le-
nore and Nikita did
enter their marriage
before us today.
Of course their wedding's not
hypertraditional!
They're unique people; they
did it their way.
Congratulations to Nikita and Lenore: not a new couple, but
a long-time couple, entering a new stage of their lives
together. Nikita and Lenore!
(Note: For those who don't know, Kevin was Nikita's roommate for most of
his years in California. Since they hosted parties through which many of us know
each other, many of us also are very familiar with the phrase "Kevin and Nikita"
since that was on every part invite)
Hi my name is Molly and I've known Nikita and Lenore for more years than I
care to count. It means so much to me to be given this privilege, tonight. Thanks guys.
When Lenore called me many months ago and told me that she and Nikita had gotten
engaged, my immediate thoughts were "FINALLY!" followed immediately by
"OMIGOD IT'S GOING TO BE THE BEST PARTY EVER!". And boy, was I ever right about that one.
Look at this crowd, all my favorite people in one room and I don't even have to get married!
Thank you all for coming and making this an even more incredible day for Lenore and Nikita.
As most of you know by now, I have been stressing about making this speech for a long time.
Despite the fact that I have usually lived very far away from them, Nikita and Lenore have been
such a big part of my life and I didn't really know where to start. When I need a shoulder to
cry on I know I can call Lenore, her emotional insight and unwavering support and special kind
of logic always make my troubles seem less dire. When I need a couch to crash on, a ride to the
airport for a 6am flight or if I ever have the urge to discuss the finer points of computer security,
I know that Nikita will be there. Whenever I wanted to travel to a far away and exotic place
Nikita and Lenore are sure to have similar plans. So where was I to start?
I knew I wanted to make an amazing speech, I wanted to say something special, and memorable
but I have so many fond memories of time spent with Lenore and Nikita that I got a little overwhelmed.
I could talk about our adventures and misadventures in Africa... or in Amsterdam... or in London... or in
California... or in Toronto... or in Waterloo... or in New York... and I could go on. I could also talk
about all the amazing people that I met through them, and continue to meet through them. But then
I realized that I would quickly become all weepy, and just end up incoherently blubbering
"I love you guys, I really do!" and that would be no fun for any one...
So then I had this AMAZING idea. It seemed super appropriate and memorable perhaps even funny.
A well known fact about Nikita is that he is a huge ABBA fan. So I thought I'd do a speech made
up of ABBA quotes. How cool would that be!!!!
Knowing that Lenore was not as big a fan as "Nikikita", I decided to run it by her first:
I said "Knowing Me, Knowing You" "I Have a Dream" but she wasn't "Head over Heels" for the idea.
Normally our little "Angeleyes" is such a "Super Trooper", but she went "On and On and On".
I thought, "Mama Mia!" "Does Her Mother Know" this girl is so "Gimme Gimme Gimme."? She won't
even "Take a Chance on Me". But that's the "Name of the Game", "The Winner Takes it All".
So I said to all those who tried to help, "Thank You for the Music", but "When All is Said and Done"
I'm afraid that this idea had met its "Waterloo".
Once again I am lucky, for I know that Lenore has such a big heart that she will eventually
forgive my little ABBA dialogue. What she doesn't know is that she is also very lucky that I
didn't go with plan B and use the puppets and backup singers.
After much deliberation and a few attempts to outsource, I realized what I really wanted to say.
Having known Nikita and Lenore for all this time and having seen them struggle and grow together,
I think that they bring out the best in each other. Lenore, Nikita... you are two of the luckiest
people I know. In this big crazy world of ours, you have found each other. I hope to see you
continue to grow and challenge each other to be bigger and better people. I hope to see that
delightful playfulness that characterizes your relationship for years to come.
Of course no wedding speech would be complete without a cheesy aphorism about how this is
just the beginning for Nikita and Lenore, but really... we all know this is no beginning,
but rather a logical continuation of what has come before. To Lenore and Nikita!
For a reading, Nikita and Lenore have chosen an excerpt from the book titled,
"Gift from the Sea". It is
written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Charles
Lindbergh's wife. Nikita's sister, Maia Buterin, delivered the reading.
"Here the bonds of marriage are formed. For marriage, which is always
spoken of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many
strands, of different texture and strength, making up a web that is
taut and firm. The web is fashioned of love. Yes, but many kinds of
love: romantic love first, then a slow-growing devotion and, playing
through these, a constantly rippling companionship. It is made of
loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared experiences. It is woven
of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and
disappointments. It is a web of communication, a common language, and
the accepance of lack of language, too; a knowledge of likes and
dislikes, of habits and reactions, both physical and mental. It is a
web of instincts and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges. The
web of marriage is made by propinquity, in the day to day living side
by side, looking outward and working outward in the same direction. It
is woven in space and in time of the substance of life itself."
We wrote our own vows, as follows:
I, Nikita, love you, Lenore, and want to share the rest of my life with you, through
good times and bad. You have been a true friend, a faithful companion, and an equal
partner in our relationship for many years. I promise to be all of these things to you
as well, but more than that, today we create a new family and I promise to hold
the interests of our family above my own. I call upon these persons here present to
witness that I, Nikita, do take you, Lenore, to be my lawful wedded partner.
I, Lenore, love you, Nikita, and want to share the rest of my life with you, through
good times and bad. You have been a true friend, a faithful companion, and an equal
partner in our relationship for many years. I promise to be all of these things to you
as well, but more than that, today we create a new family and I promise to hold
the interests of our family above my own. I call upon these persons here present to
witness that I, Lenore, do take you, Nikita, to be my lawful wedded partner.
